But this isn't even the most painful part. The worst part is when the fact of failing finally sinks in.
In the Philippines, the release of the list of Bar Exams passers is a big deal: major media organizations cover the event, names of passers are published everywhere, and the photos of Bar topnotchers are splashed all over the news whether they like it or not.
Media's obsession with the Bar Exams is an entirely different ethical and moral issue worth looking into at another time, and so is the propriety of announcing the Top 10 highest scorers as if the Bar Exams were a freaking competition.
It can all be nauseating, more so for those who failed the Bar who just wanted to get away from all the media frenzy and mourn in silence.
So how then should one deal with failing the Bar Exams?
There really isn't any cut and dry template for doing so since everyone is different and has their unique way of dealing with failures. Some people, for example, describe failing the Bar as something worse than losing a parent, while others readily accept it, eerily cognizant of their fates.
Regardless, failing the Bar constitutes an abysmal point in any law graduate's life. It can trigger a lot of negative things, which is why it is very important that Bar examinees should have a support system to cling on to in the event of failure.
It also helps if one is emotionally ready, even partially, in facing this situation head on. How? Here are a few things worth considering:
- Give yourself time to grieve. It's natural to resort to denial initially, especially when you haven't fully come to terms yet with the reality of this sad fact. But after the shock wears off, that's when it hits you. Cry, grieve, mourn. Preparing for the Bar Exams is beyond exhausting, so it can be very crushing to see a result other than what you set out to have. Do not deny the disappointment and pain from manifesting in you.
- Take a break. A good way of coping is by finding some distraction to take your attention away, even momentarily, from the results of the Bar Exams. Watch movies, read a book, travel, do some work. Recharge and take in positive energy.
- Do a post-mortem analysis. At this point, a linger question you may have is: what went wrong? It's a good question to reflect on how you reviewed for the Bar or answered the questions during the exams. Take a keen look at everything. Identify the good traits from those that aren't. Identify gaps and weaknesses. Determine what could have possibly gone wrong. Doing this quite some time after the results of the Bar had been released will allow you to be more somewhat objective and less emotional in your self-assessment.
- You are under no obligation to explain why you did not make the cut. It is important to unburden yourself from the pressure of having to explain to people why your name wasn't on the list of passers. It's good if you are already at a point when you can freely talk about this episode in your life without triggering strong emotions in you. Otherwise, if it's something you wish to put behind you, that's totally a choice exclusive to you.
- Gauge your mental, emotional, physical, and financial condition. Preparing for the Bar Exams requires a lot of resources. Determining if you are ready to spend the same or even more financial, physical, emotional, and logistical resources than in the past Bar Exams to prepare for the next one is something you have to decide on. In doing so, you have to take into account the resources at your disposal.
- Consider your privilege. At the end of the day, regardless of the results of the Bar Exams, graduating from law school and taking the Bar Exams are things a lot of people can only dream about. Indeed, you are privileged enough to have gotten this far. Find this fact a sobering reminder of how you are still incredibly lucky to be afforded the chance to pursue your dreams in a world where most people cannot even afford to dream.
- Be honest with yourself. Failing the Bar forces people to be completely honest with themselves. Is becoming a lawyer what you really want in life? Are you cut out for this profession? Are you better off someplace else? Are you willing to go through the process again and face the possibility of yet another failure? These are tough questions that demand honest answers from you.
At some point, you will be able to move on and accept the fact of having failed the Bar Exams. The world, obviously, doesn't end when you don't find your name on the list of passers. It is the hope that you develop a Plan B on how to proceed with your life moving forward and identify the steps you need to take to achieve your goals, whatever they may be.